Drink Toque

Concept: 4 out of 5
Execution: 3 out of 5
Yeah, but: Quick, guess which country it's from.

The Long Version: Humour counts for a lot, and The Drink Toque makes the most of it. It's really just a can cozy, but it's knitted instead of being made out of the ubiquitous neoprene and foam rubber. It's perfect for lounging around in our typical Canadian weather.

To compliment this fairly simple idea, there are loads of colours and patterns available, and they come in different sizes as well. Mine's a small, designed for 355ml containers, but it's a touch tall for the coke cans that I usually prefer. I don't suppose that it's an accident that the website shows them on bottles, but it's easy enough to snug down a touch. I doubt that these will keep cans as cold for as long as some of the more hard-core designs, but that's okay. Humour counts for a lot.

last updated 24 dec 2011

Kleen Kanteen 40oz Wide-Mouth Bottle

Concept: 2 out of 5
Execution: 3 out of 5
Yeah, but: I'm still not such a fan of the spelling.

The Long Version: Metal water bottles are nothing new, and Kleen Kanteen has been in the business for a while. At last count my household owns eight of them, and the standard and insulated designs have already been the subjects of reviews. So I'll make this quick.

The latest addition to my Kleen Kanteen collection is the 40oz Wide Mouth bottle. Its signature design is spacious enough to let it fit ice-cubes through sideways, which is a great benefit, but one that's tempered by having a thin lip that's not quite as nice to drink from as the rolled top of the standard design. It's also worth noting that despite the prominent 40oz markings – 1182ml – the actual capacity that I measured is almost 200ml more than that.

As always, the steel doesn't change the taste of the water, and it's very nicely made. While all big bottles have the same diameter, I find the 40oz size is right at the limit of what I can comfortably hold with my average-sized hands.

This bottle recently had a misadventure. When I was last at the Leslie Street Spit I knocked the half-full Kanteen over, and it fell almost four feet onto broken concrete slabs and then skittered across a couple of fairly ugly rocks. While this treatment would probably have chipped the paint on one of their coloured bottles, the plain steel made it through with just a small dent and a couple of scratches. The plastic cap also took a gouge, but it's so minor that it barely serves to distinguish it from my other wide-mouth lid. I wouldn't endorse mistreating one, but I have no doubt that it can take a fair bit of abuse.

Just don't put it in the freezer and forget about it.

last updated 21 sep 2011

Pocari Sweat

Concept: 4 out of 5
Execution: 2 out of 5
Yeah, but: I have no idea how to rate this.

The Long Version: William Gibson writes something broadly called "speculative fiction," and his trademark is combining media, technology, and popular culture into a near-future mashup. His novels seem outlandish for the first fifteen or twenty years, but after that it's harder to remember what the big deal was. His fascination with cultural oddities in general, and Japanese culture in particular, shows through with some inventive product names like 'Come Back Salmon' and 'Pocari Sweat'.

Sometimes life can be like that.

The decidedly non-fictional Pocari Sweat is an 'ion supply drink' that's been sold in Canada for at least eight years, which is when I first saw it in a local grocery store. It's also relatively easy to find for sale online, where the option to get a powder cuts down on the shipping cost. As a sports drink it's essentially salty sugar water, and tastes like thin sweet lemonade but with a lingering grapefruit aftertaste. I'm not a fan of grapefruit, but the combination of sweet with tart works fairly well, and when it's chilled the flavour is subtle enough that it's easy to drink.

But it gets better.

The various product websites are full of gems. The global site is an elaborate justification of the scientificy benefits of the drink, with statements like "It is well known that sweat is salty. This proves that sweat is not just water. Since sweat is made from body fluid, many electrolytes are lost during perspiration." The english-language site for the Philippines recommends the product after long hot showers, to ward off hangovers, and when enduring bouts of diarrhea. Seriously, I know that dehydration can kill, but how many times do you see the word diarrhea in a food ad?

I imagine a pocari looking like a cute cross between a hamster and a ferret, but with really big eyes; the manufacturer, Otsuka Pharmaceutical Co., hasn't actually released any photos of these creatures and doesn't comment on their care beyond their corporate statement that pocari don't really exist. But we heard that same story before the Oompa-Loompa doping scandal broke, so I can only trust that no actual pocari are harmed in the production of the beverage.

But realistically, I'll just stick with Coke.

last updated 26 feb 2011

Coke's 414mL / 14oz Bottle

Concept: 2 out of 5
Execution: 3 out of 5
Yeah, but: Let's all contain our excitement.

The Long Version: I'm old enough that seeing the words "New" and "Coke" on the same label leaves me a little apprehensive. The good news, such as it is, is that the beverage itself hasn't changed - the excited yellow "NEW!" banner on the bottle merely refers to the packaging. The huge innovation is a 414mL size polyethylene terephthalate container, which joins the existing 600mL and 710mL plastic bottles. There was once a 500mL bottle, which was replaced by the 20% larger size, so there's a certain feeling of deja vu to this new container as well.

I haven't actually seen these bottles on the shelf yet, but a report puts the pricing closer to the 355mL can than the existing bottles. That's not too surprising, given the capacity, but to be honest I would prefer the smaller size to the 600mL bottle even if the price-per-milliliter was slightly higher. They're nicer to hold and drink from, and even at the rate that I consume the stuff, a 600 or 710mL bottle is likely to be warm and flat by the time I'm done with it.

While I prefer cans for home and work, I have a hard time buying them singly from a convenience store because I know how much cheaper they are in a case. When I'm out and about, I'll buy bottles simply to rationalize the higher price of getting a single container from a fridge. Coke's not exactly betting the business on this new venture, but hopefully the smaller portion size will be a success. It's the one I'll be looking for from now on.

Stanley Classic Flask

Concept: 3 out of 5
Execution: 2 out of 5
Yeah, but: It's for water, officer, honest.

The Long Version: Stanley's Classic Flask (manf) is an 8oz container that will hold whatever you want, as long as it's pourable. It has a slightly triangular profile with generously rounded corners, making it easy to carry in a pocket and less conspicuous than the traditional curved hip flask. Its darker colour also helps lower its visual profile, although I doubt that anyone who sees it will be fooled. Overall the look is almost retro, and for some reason it vaguely reminds me of a miniature metal gasoline can.

My first impression when I picked up the flask is that it's slightly flimsy; I'm used to the thick metal-walled cylinder of my Kleen Kanteen bottles, which could serve as an impromptu weapon. It's not that the Stanley flask is badly built, it's just that the straight sides can flex in ways that I'm not used to. The mouth is nicely machined, and the plastic cap is chromed and held in place by a plastic arm. Not being able to lose the cap is a nice touch, and while the plastic doesn't exactly scream reliability, I'll wait until there's actually a problem before I complain about one. But the overall 'cheap' feeling isn't helped by the name badge and "Eddie Bauer" stickers - guess where I bought mine - which seem ready to peel off and weren't placed properly on one of the others in the store. Them peeling off won't be a loss when it happens, but nothing says 'poser' to me quite like an Eddie Bauer edition of something, which is actually the impression that I'm trying to cultivate.

I spent a lot of time looking for a small, slim water bottle that I could fit in the pocket of my favourite camera bag. That turned out to be far more difficult than I expected, so option 'B' was to find an innocent-looking flask. That also turned out to be nearly impossible, but the REI website showed the classic Stanley, and sometimes close enough is good enough. With an 8oz capacity - about 250ml - it's not about to replace a canteen for desert treks, but it's enough to carry in the city in case there's a shortage of water fountains. Alternatively, it can hold the rest of one of those evil plastic convenience-store bottles without needing to take up a tall round space in my camera bag.

One of the big questions about stainless steel bottles is whether or not they 'taint' the beverage with a metallic taste. For the Stanley flask, I did an experiment. I left it filled in the fridge for twenty-four hours, and then poured its contents into a glass. In an identical glass, I poured the same amount of water straight from my Brita filter. I kept track of which was which, but asked Penny to check and see if she could taste any difference between them. Then she switched their positions while I wasn't looking, and I tried to distinguish which one came from the steel flask. We both agreed: no difference at all.

The Stanley Classic flask is designed for use and economy, and light weight and a reasonable price is more important to me than any potential heirloom status. It does what I want it to, and if it lasts me a couple of years of occasional use, I'll be satisfied. I'm not going to wait until I'm the centre of attention before I take a swig from it, but I've never been fond of drawing attention to myself. I'll just sit and drink in the shadows instead.

Coca-Cola's Gold Cans - 2010 Edition

Concept: 2 out of 5
Execution: 1 out of 5
Yeah, but: Is it the thought that counts?

The Long Version: Coca-Cola, the American brand that dominates the soft-drink market of almost the entire world, loves to support the home team no matter where it is. To celebrate the 2010 Olympics, they issued a small number of gold cans. There wasn't much promotion that I saw, no ads or special markings on the cases, and I haven't seen them in the stores. The distinctive gold colour of these cans surprised everyone who saw them: "How old is that thing?" being the overwhelming response. They look like they've faded from been left in the sun too long.

The fine print on the cans reads "Congratulations Canadian Olympic Ice Hockey Team on Winning Gold!" It's a nice sentiment, so I know this will sound churlish, but my question is: Which one? As usually happens, both the Canadian hockey teams - Men's and Women's - won gold medals. So either they've missed the pluralization, or they missed an entire event. I hope it's just a grammatical issue, because otherwise someone's been snubbed, and I doubt it's the NHL players.

For what it's worth, 'Team Canada' also took twelve non-hockey gold medals, and I really don't think that team sports like hockey should be part of the Olympics in the first place. So perhaps I'm just snippy at a multi-billion-dollar corporation congratulating a select group of millionaires while neglecting the rest. Call it youngest-child syndrome. Even though these cans are listed on eBay for almost two dollars each, mine are gone and I have no regrets.

Starfrit Can Crusher

Concept: 3 out of 5
Execution: 2 out of 5
Yeah, but: I can just see it screwed to one of the bare studs in a garage.

The Long Version: Starfrit is a Canadian company that's making its way into the American market, one infomercial at a time. They're the bilingual force behind battery-powered potato peelers, push-choppers, and folding cutting boards. If it has "as seen on TV" on it, there's a good chance that you'll find in on their website. It's not guaranteed, of course, and I can't find the can crusher at all. Rather anticlimactic after this big introduction.

The can crusher is designed to flatten beverage cans, and does so admirably. Its construction is solid, with a soft foam handle topping a lever that delivers plenty of power. I'm a little tentative applying force to mine, since it's attached to a cupboard door with double-sided tape instead of (the included) screws. But even with that hesitation, it does the job. My only addition has been a couple of rubber bands that I've wrapped around the base to hold the cans in place as they await their fate. Traction, you know.

There is a question about why anyone would want this particular job done. Without reenacting the Frantics' 'Worshipers R Us' scene (again), it's something to have just because it's there. It's fun to use, and the crushed cans do take up less space in the recycling bin. Crushing them by hand isn't as effective or as entertaining. It even includes a built-in bottle opener, just in case there are ever any bottles that don't have screw-tops. I wouldn't recommend running them through the crusher when you're done, though.

Zeiss Pre-Moistened Lens Cloths

Concept: 4 out of 5
Execution: 4 out of 5
Yeah, but: Your mileage may vary, but I love them

The Long Version:
I have been using this product on all of my lenses for 3+ years, and have had nothing but positive results.

Lens cleaning is something that I feel very strongly about, be it sporting optics, camera lenses or just my eyeglasses.
Spotless is the only way to go.

In my opinion, the standard microfiber lens cloths are a fine tool but they can get contaminated with lint, skin oils and other gunk that isn't lens-friendly after a few weeks.
These Zeiss lens cloths are in individual packages that are VERY convenient to carry around, and you can trust that they aren't compromised in any way.

The "Pre-Moistened" agent is high grade alcohol, so use them quickly as the drying time is short. The alcohol makes short work of filthy glass bought second-hand, and has the added benefit of displacing water when you're in rainy, foggy, or temperature-related condensation nightmare mode.
Instead of just smearing the moisture around, you can actually remove it in a few seconds.

I also make use of their disinfectant properties.
Sometimes you have no choice but to let the sketchy guy at the range put his disgusting eye to your riflescope, or allow a barskank to touch your camera.
It's alcohol on a paper towel, so I'll even use one to clean my fingers between eating fried food and taking pictures so as not to insult my camera.

When you're talking about lenses, Zeiss is a company that has a proven track record, to say the least.
Possibly the finest.
Does it bother me that I can only find this product in WalMart's optical department?
No. They work perfectly, with extreme cleaning action and fast-drying lint-free results.
A box of 50 retails for around $3US so that's just 6 pennies each.

The packaging also mentions that they are safe for all lens coatings.
No reason to doubt it from my testing so far.


The usual cautions apply: If you think there may be anything like sand, metal shavings, or chicken bones on your lens, use a blower and/or brush to dislodge them before employing any kind of cloth.
You don't want to rub something solid across your fine glass.

Pepsi's New Logo

Concept: 2 out of 5
Execution: 2 out of 5
Yeah, but: If Nike bought Korean Air, this is what the logo would look like.

The Long Version: Like certain former spokespersons, Pepsi uses its massive resources to attract young people. As a result, they seem to spend as much time refreshing their company image as their customers; they've changed their logo substantially several times over the last twenty years, while Coke's has remained essentially the same since `85 - eighteen eighty-five.

As a consumer, when I'm looking at a product I consider how many different designs exist to solve the same basic problem. When I see a lot of variety, it tells me that there's either a diverse range of needs that are being accommodated, and/or that none of them have really gotten them right. Think cellular telephones. When a market niche (note to Americans: that word does not rhyme with "itch") is dominated by a single design, I take that as a sign that it works. Think toilet plunger.

Constantly changing one's corporate identity usually suggests that the company hasn't found one with lasting appeal, or that there is some other fundamental flaw in their market positioning. AT&T and ValuJet both come to mind. But Pepsi is unusual because constantly re-branding itself and re-introducing itself to the market is their actual strategy, as they strive to be up-to-the-moment and 'hip' in a way that only a multi-billion-dollar multinational company can be. They can always afford the coolest shoes. The problem is that approach - what my former boss would inadvertent call a "stragedy" - makes the right design a moving target. Even when they get a design that's perfectly in sync with the times, the times change. The old logo, with its ice-crystal background and oblique block typography was cutting edge once.

The new typography has moved away from the nineties-techno look in favour of a less formal rounded lowercase. They haven't completely lost their love of geometric letterforms, but now they're aping Futura instead of Eurostile. The 3D beach-ball look is gone; now they want you to see the logo as a smile, which is best seen by tilting your head sideways. Clearly, they're now trying to be the choice of the txt generation :)

The blue background is also much darker than the ice crystals design, with bottle caps to match. It's a darker and more saturated colour than Coke, and does make for a striking change. I do wonder if they're intentionally trying to differentiate themselves from that other brand, which is admirable if a little redundant. But unlike Hyundai making their logo look a lot like Honda, I do respect Pepsi for trying to carve out their own market identity and product niche. (Rhymes with quiche.)

Changing a brand identity always involves a lot of work, a lot of controversy, and a lot of 'free' publicity. I already like the new logo better than the old one, and I said that last time, too. I'm sure I'll say it again in another five to fifteen years. But the most observant readers may have noticed a red can's reflection in the lead photo. If you can identify the product, then you already have a powerfully succinct critique of the new Pepsi logo.

Thermos Quick Charge bottle

Concept: 3 out of 5
Execution: 3 out of 5
Yeah, but: Handy, but why did I buy one in the winter?

The Long Version: These bottles by Thermos solve the summer problems of metal water bottles: they warm up quickly and 'sweat' badly. In exchange for the insulation, they don't hold as much for their size, and because I can't feel the bottle get cold, I need to pay more attention as I fill it.

The bottles come in blue and red, with a glossy coat that does seem to scuff if it's handled roughly. Overall the bottles are quite attractive, easy to hold, and the plastic lids are comfortable to hold and use with a nice rubberized texture.

In my review of the Kleen Kanteen stainless bottle, I pointed out that the water in the container does not change its flavour, but that the bottle itself has a metallic taste. According to the google terms that bring people to that write-up, this is a common concern. The good news is that the plastic cap on the Thermos Quick Charge bottles gets rid of this problem. Just watch out how the cap is orientated when you take a drink, because it's easy to re-create a classic moment from the "Airplane" movies with it.

Camo Beer Cans

Concept: 2 out of 5
Execution: 2 out of 5
Yeah, but: I Still Like It

The Long Version: When I'm working there are only a few ways to save money on beer--if there's a comp'ed bar tab for the band, free beers from fans, or buying that night's "Special", which could be anything.
A lifetime of this (28 years, actually) has made me anything but a beer snob. Any beer will do, so long as I can see through it and it's cold.
At home, I favor the same beer that I started with in the mid '70s--Miller High Life.
A 6-pack of 16oz cans is around $4, and after the first two swallows all beer tastes the same anyway.

The point of this post is the camouflage cans that my brew has started wearing.
As you can see, it's the "Limited Edition FALL SERIES".
Nice.
Is that why the price went up a little?

Obviously, the point of the camo is hunting season.
Nearly everything gets some camo in the fall here in South Texas.
Cans of beer, desperate to survive through the rut, hiding safely in plain sight?
If they were white!
There's no foliage inside my refrigerator or ice chest.
For the sportsmen in the woods, leaving the rest of the can bright shiny gold defeats the purpose, wouldn't you say?
And why are they drinking while still hunting instead of afterwards?
Is the camo a way to make littering less noticeable?

All kidding aside, they look okay, the printing is done well, and the beer still works just fine.
Right now I'm trying the big can of Foster's shown above and it's pretty good, too.

Kleen Kanteen Stainless Steel Water Bottle

Concept: 3 out of 5
Execution: 3 out of 5
Yeah, but: "Although we are constantly exploring the subject, currently there is no direct evidence..."


The Long Version: Yes, BPA. I'd have to say it eventually, so I might as well start there. Canada has recently listed Bisphenol A as a toxic chemical and has banned it from plastic baby bottles. But in a press release, Canada writes: 'The preliminary research tells us the public should not be concerned. In general, most Canadians are exposed to very low levels of bisphenol A in polycarbonate. It does not, therefore, pose a significant health risk.'


Everyone's buying stainless steel bottles anyway. Those who know me know that I'm not overly into health scares or health in general, but like a magpie, I like shiny things. A stainless steel water bottle is perfect for me. Pictured is the Kleen Kanteen 12oz / 500ml model, but I usually use the 27oz / 800ml model.


As far as water bottles go, this one works very well, and is my favourite of the designs that I've seen and used regardless of material. The diameter is comfortable to hold - it fits standard bike bottle holders - and the mouth has a lip on it that's comfortable to drink from. (Although it is prone to splashing when I drink while walking.) It's easy to fill, easy to clean, seals well, and it's not as bulky as plastic. There are different cap styles available, meaning that I was able to mix-and-match to get the loop top that I like, an it can be replaced if the seal ever gives out. But one major difference between plastic and metal is that it's an excellent heat conductor, so cold water warms to room temperature quickly, and hot beverages are outright dangerous. Be careful washing it. (My suggestion for cleaning it is to use cool water and a small amount of mouthwash instead of detergent.)


I used think that there's a slightly metallic taste to the water, but eventually I figured out that there's a metallic taste to the bottle. It seems obvious now that I say it; the water itself tastes just the way it does after being run through my Brita filter, even after sitting in the bottle overnight. But the bottle is magnetic, which marine-grade stainless steel isn't. I don't know if that means that the bottle could eventually rust, but since I'd update this review if it did, you can assume that it hasn't happened yet. (For what it's worth, I've been using it since 22 May 2008.) Otherwise I have no complaints: it's a solid product in a utilitarian and useful way.




It's my review, so I'll rant if I want to: I've never understood the idea of paying for Bottled Water: take something that's essentially free, add some marketing, incur some distribution costs, and all of a sudden it's selling for more than fossil fuels. I thought the idea was dumb years ago, but it's a market that reached what I can only hope is the pinnicle of self-parody with "Fiji Water." To quote the company, the source is "Far from pollution. Far from acid rain. Far from industrial waste." According to Pedro, each litre of water produced 'consumes' (read: contaminates) 6.74L of water. And Oxfam's report says that 53% of Fijians are "without sustainable access to improved water." More people in major cities in North America have access to safe water from Fiji than the people in Fiji do. How is that not a scandal?




Updated June, 2010: I've bought a couple of other stainless bottles since this review was originally written, but they sit in the cupboard while the two Kleen Kanteens are still in almost daily use. They've held up remarkably well, with no signs of deterioration of either the metal bottle or plastic cap. There's been some minor scuffing and scratching, of course, but it looks new enough that a couple of my co-workers had to find different colours when they bought their own. So after two years, I still think that these Kleen Kanteen bottles have gotten just about everything right, and have yet to see anything better.

Camo Can Cooler

Concept: 3 out of 5
Execution: 3 out of 5
Yeah, but: It's cheap entertainment.


The Long Version: Originally bought for 97 cents in the 'hunting' department at a Wal-Mart in Fallon, Nevada, these can coolers provided faithful service. Although we never had the chance to avoid scaring away wildlife with a shiny metal can only partially hidden by a camouflaged cooler, it was good to know that it wasn't a danger.

But I have to confess something. I'm a Canadian. I like these for their entertainment value as much as their function -- I had never seen such a ridiculous idea. (A little time with google has broadened my horizons, and I've found them in Woodland pattern, inspirational messages, and some of them even get intentionally silly.) But perhaps I shouldn't have been so naive. When I asked my brother if it was too embarrassing to bring with me when I got out of his Suburban on its 30" wheels, he turned to me and said, "Matthew, we're in Wyoming."